Village Profile #2

CHIEF

 

Id like to introduce you to Chief, otherwise known to me as Papa Smurf. One day Papa Smurf was wearing an all blue outfit and a white hat, so since then Ive been calling him a smurf. Even if he doesnt understand what the hell Im talking about.

 

You can always tell when Papa Smurf is around because hes constantly screaming at the little kids. Hes an old man with half a set of brown teeth and short grey hair. If Papa Smurf lived in America, Im pretty sure hed be a used car salesman. Lucky me for being the only white guy living in his house.

 

Like I said, Papa Smurf would probably sell used cars in America if he could. The man is the cheapest person Ive ever met. He forces his sons to work for him so he doesnt have to. Hell never spend a dime on anyone exept himself and hes always hitting me up for money. So I usually give him 12 cents just so hell go away and leave me alone. I think he may be on to my game.

 

There is one story in particular I have about Papa Smurf that Ill never forget. Hes a man of selfish pride. He striv es to always be the center of attention, no different than myself of course. Last year during one of our many Muslim holidays we all dressed up nice and met at the mosque for prayer. During religious functions, our village Marabout (religious leader) is center stage. Our Marabout brought out a decorative wooden staff to lead his followers in prayer. Oh no, that took away Papa Smurfs spotlight. But Papa Smurf doesnt have a beautiful decorative wooden staff to show his leadership skills in the village. Remember, hes cheap.

 

But the man is witty. When he saw our Marabout with a staff and he didnt have one, the old man ran back to his room to try to find something of equal or better quality. Whats he do? Papa Smurf took his damn bed post off his bed and tied a bunch of colorful ribbons around the head, so he could hide the giant silver screw protruding from the top. God forbid people find out he didnt own a beautiful decorative wooden staff. Even worse if they find out he did, but carved out of the finest wood a cheap used car salesman can afford to sleep on. At least he kept his pride. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Village Profile #2

CHIEF

 

Id like to introduce you to Chief, otherwise known to me as Papa Smurf. One day Papa Smurf was wearing an all blue outfit and a white hat, so since then Ive been calling him a smurf. Even if he doesnt understand what the hell Im talking about.

 

You can always tell when Papa Smurf is around because hes constantly screaming at the little kids. Hes an old man with half a set of brown teeth and short grey hair. If Papa Smurf lived in America, Im pretty sure hed be a used car salesman. Lucky me for being the only white guy living in his house.

 

Like I said, Papa Smurf would probably sell used cars in America if he could. The man is the cheapest person Ive ever met. He forces his sons to work for him so he doesnt have to. Hell never spend a dime on anyone exept himself and hes always hitting me up for money. So I usually give him 12 cents just so hell go away and leave me alone. I think he may be on to my game.

 

There is one story in particular I have about Papa Smurf that Ill never forget. Hes a man of selfish pride. He striv es to always be the center of attention, no different than myself of course. Last year during one of our many Muslim holidays we all dressed up nice and met at the mosque for prayer. During religious functions, our village Marabout (religious leader) is center stage. Our Marabout brought out a decorative wooden staff to lead his followers in prayer. Oh no, that took away Papa Smurfs spotlight. But Papa Smurf doesnt have a beautiful decorative wooden staff to show his leadership skills in the village. Remember, hes cheap.

 

But the man is witty. When he saw our Marabout with a staff and he didnt have one, the old man ran back to his room to try to find something of equal or better quality. Whats he do? Papa Smurf took his damn bed post off his bed and tied a bunch of colorful ribbons around the head, so he could hide the giant silver screw protruding from the top. God forbid people find out he didnt own a beautiful decorative wooden staff. Even worse if they find out he did, but carved out of the finest wood a cheap used car salesman can afford to sleep on. At least he kept his pride. 

Sugar Coated

 Ive noticed the people in my village are addicted to over-the-counter medicine. It doesnt really matter if they're sick or not. They love it. It also doesnt matter what kind of medicine they end up asking for. They'll take anything, especially if its FREE. Most people use the sore back excuse until I tell them I dont have anything for that. Then they ask what I do have and suddenly everyone has stomach problems. Truthfully, I think they love the taste of my Pepto-Bismol. Its the closest thing to candy that they're going to get. Thank God I dont have any delicious candy coated Advil.

 

Whats that? Sore fingers? Here, have a nice and tasty cough drop....Its cherry

THE MORE YOU KNOW

Did you know.....

 

1. St. Paul Minnesota was originally named "Pigs Eye"

 

2. Iran has more than twice the population of Canada

 

3. Finland once banned Donald Duck because he wears NO pants

 

4. Bandanna is the hindu word for tie-dye

 

5. The 3 points of the Bermuda Triangle are Bermuda, The Greater Antilles and the US   coast

 

6. The Indian state of Kashmir has two capitals, one in summer, one in winter

 

7. Its a crime in Japan to import foreign-grown rice

 

8. Reno Nevada is farther West than Los Angeles California

 

9. All dogs but seeing eye dogs are banned in Iceland

 

10. To dig a hole to China, you'd have to be in Argentina or Chile